I wasn'tthinking of anything in particular, just concentrating on the feelingsof the tight silk on my skin, as I rubbed my crotch against the bed. Iremember every orgasm I've had since has never been over a female, yetI don't find men attractive.I remember when I was 16. I had begun to imagine men kissing me andtouching me when I was dressed as a girl. I remember no longer thinkingthat a man's cock was disgusting.I remember when I was 17. I had gotten fully dressed up one time whenmy parents were out. I had put on makeup and wore jewellery and even ablack leather handbag. I remember wondering how feminine it would be touse a tampon. I remember my hands shaking yet again as I took one outof it's packaging and slowly inserted it.I remember when I was 18 and I found my mum's vibrator. Smooth andgolden, I masturbated it with lubricant, imagining it was a real cock.I remember how cold the lubricated end was when it was when it touchedmy skin, and when I had it all the way in, how I feared. I was so confused about what happened, that I finished brushing my teeth, and just left without RyRy. I got to school. We were in first period together (we made sure we had every class together or we would get massively distracted. We did all of our studying and homework together, so the principal made sure we had the same schedules, to help us out) she wrote me a note, that she handed to me after class on our way to the next class. The note said, "loosen up and relax, I don't mind what happened. But your face is red, and I can tell your disturbed. And I think other people can tell too. We will talk when we get home, if you want to" The day seemed to pass so slow. each forty-two minute class felt like three hours. I couldn't bring myself to look at Ry. But the school day finally ended. I walked out of school and left her behind. I was too embarrassed to be seen with her. She found me, ran up to me, and put her arm around me. We walked home not saying anything to each other. When we.
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